‘Being’ is about the here and now yet most of us dwell in another time and place either in the past, what we did yesterday, what happened last year, what someone said to you at a meeting last week that still upsets you or the wonderful evening you had with a partner and why can’t it always be like that.
Or we are in a time that is based on what might happen to us in the future. Millions of people spend their lives hoping that they will win the lottery and the industry knows that much of our world is based on dreams that are in the future.
A friend of mine spends hours daydreaming about what she will do with the money if she wins the lottery, she says ‘I get myself a glass of wine and sit thinking about buying a new house, a new car or going on a fabulous cruise and yet I know its all a dream it will never happen to me’ – and it never does!
If she was willing to spend the same amount of time on creating her environment right now she would see things differently. This ‘future’ world thrives on our desires for something that we don’t yet have based on something that we think we desire.
The future holds a particular hook for us and this unreal world remains elusive and is a major source of depression, discontent, aggression, and loneliness. If everything we do is wrapped up in something which is in the future like, ‘I can’t wait for Friday to go out and enjoy myself.’ Or ‘I am really looking forward to our holiday in the summer.’ Or ‘I saw a red dress and can’t stop thinking about it; I’ve got to have it’. All of these moments spent thinking and waiting for something that is not in the here and now, wastes our valuable energy when our lives could be filled with what we are doing right now.
Whether we are aware of it or not, there actually is no other moment than right now, the moment you are right now reading this article is the only moment that's real for you ... right now.
When the moment arises that we get any of these ‘wishful’ things the gratification is short-lived as we begin to dream about the next thing that we want.
Dreaming does not create anything.
To experience peace and harmony and happiness we should learn to simply ‘Be’ in the now. Easy to say not easy to be! How do we do it?
Being in the now does not stop us from creating holidays or planning events; it means that once the creation is formed to go on holiday or to go to the theatre and we are clear about this action, we can then remain in the moment to continue our day, without the clouds of dreaming, reminiscing and distraction that causes inner discomfort.
It's not easy
Simply being is not an easy concept for many people and the questions people ask are often – but who should I be? I don’t know who to be. What do you mean – just be?
To simply ‘be’ means that we have to make the moment that we are in, the best it can be. This is the day to day being. This means that we give our present moment our full attention, we stay with exactly what we are doing, moment by moment. I find it easier to help people to look at what kind of person they would like to be, even if they are not sure of what that is, they can begin to put together a blueprint of themselves as they would like to be.
We can create ourselves in the moment, we simply need to focus with intent. It is true that our exterior world is a reflection of our inner world. This means that whatever is going on in your life, whatever chaos, dreams, loneliness, the uncertainty that’s happening in your life is a direct mirror of what is going on inside you.
If your exterior world is calm, peaceful and content so it will be inside you. If your life is boring you can be certain that this is what is going on inside yourself. ‘Being’ can be made easier if you embrace life as it is and this can be used as a reminder to help you to work with ‘being’
When I chose to be completely compassionate and loving without conditions it was an enormous commitment for me, yet as big as this was it gave me an internal framework with which to work with. I found that my daily activities whatever they may be and however they turned out could be examined from this new state of being. I asked myself, as often as I could remember at the moment ‘I am love and compassion’ I am doing this from a place of being compassionate, it was never easy it still isn’t but this enabled me to shift from a different place – it didn’t always work and when I was full of resentment and anger toward some people it took enormous effort, but gradually it changed. Some changes were dramatic and some more subtle. When things didn’t work out in alignment with being compassionate and loving I could at least examine this and ask myself later ‘what would love have done’ and I had a new framework for the next time.
Staying in the now
Through practice and time, we can shift the dwelling on the past and dreaming about the future into what we are choosing to be today. When we are ‘being’ something now rather than being caught in the past and future world – when we decide to proactively create ourselves, our concentration stays with the great things that are created from this new state of being. Your life shifts and the desire to be somewhere else changes. How can it not? If you are being loved and compassionate in all that you are – why would you wish to be anywhere else but in the here and now?
What could be better than that state and no matter what you do and where you go you can be this ‘being ‘all of the time in any circumstance.